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paula abdul's just not into you...

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If you were once a Brat-Packer but now you're making up crap for yourself on IMDB, Paula Abdul's just not into you.

If you were in a music video with her in which you shunned her magnetic sex appeal by driving off a cliff, Paula Abdul's just not into you.

If you were in this movie, Paula Abdul's just not into you.

If you're totally, totally, not-in-any-way gay (as in never ever never ever), Paula Abdul's just not into you.

If you look "like a cross between a giant, scary baby and Vincent D’Onofrio in Full Metal Jacket," Paula Abdul's just not into you.

Everyone else, apparently, bang away.
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