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amityville horror review...

amitybeard horror

(inspired by rosie o'd)

we went to see amityville horror
at the grove multiplex
more beverly than hills

i didn't have popcorn
nor any goobers
costs more than the ticket
that's crazy talk

we sat in the seats
watched bad trailers
house of wax
scary bad
sign me up

hiyo, ryan reynolds
lover of jagged pills
damn that beard rocks
he was funny in van wilder
i admit i own it

that alias chick has huge eyebrows
caterpillars eating her face
i hope they don't
cause that wouldn't scare me

these kids look nothing like their mom
the girl is blonde, okay
but the one kid is fat
and one looks mentally impaired

scary stuff starts to happen
she says, "man he's an asshole"
"sure he is," i reply.
he's po-ssessed
with a mean paul bunyan beard

he sure likes chopping some wood
he needs to chop some ghost demons
or at least get his wife nekkid
help me help you
to not make me sleepy

eh, the climax
what aren't more people dying??
at least one kid, maybe
guess not

Amityville Horror - D+
Ryan Reynolds's beard - A
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Posted by Anonymous Jon on 9:07 PM

Couldn't he have just been happy with stealing Jason Lee's career? Did he really have to take his beard as well?  

Posted by Blogger justin on 9:11 AM

They could make great buddy comedy love together, though.  

Posted by Blogger Kristie on 10:08 AM

Interesting take, have plans to see it Thursday, should I change my mind?  

Posted by Blogger justin on 10:11 AM


Posted by Blogger xtx on 8:39 AM

and all this time i thought from the radio ads that it was about some whore from Amityville.

now i don't really want to go see it.  

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