I care about fast food. I really do.

Last April, the CEO of McDonald's passed away suddenly. A moving writeup instantly flowed from my fingertips because, hey, i cared:

"There goes my entire day.

According to the news, and fellow LJ-ers, McDonald's CEO and patriarch Grimace died of an apparent heart attack last night in his sleep. He was fat.

Friend of Ronald McDonald, the Hamburglar, Birdy and Barney, Grimace not only loved creamy chocolate shakes and fries. He loved kids. And he particularly loved eating them after they ate those creamy chocolate shakes and fries.

Player haters made fun of Grimace in the past because he looked a fat kid in one-piece pajamas or a California Raisin with a budunkadunk. Either that or he just couldn't digest his food fully.

But not many people knew about his reformation. According to a McDonald's press release, he was originally called the Evil Grimace and 'had a penchant for stealing milkshakes from small children, was fuzzier and had six arms." Yes, follks. He used to fuzzier.

In honor of Grimace and his legacy, two Big Macs with Cheese and a six pack of Chicken Nuggets will be let free into the wild. And then, for all the gangstas who represent, we'll pour a bit of our chocolate shakes on the ground just for him.

Grimace, you will be missed."

CUT to today's truly upsetting news from our fast food operative in the field: Filet O' Fish Fridays is no more.

That's right. It's just going to be regular-ass Fridays from now on at McD's. There's not really a solid answer on the change thus yet. You'd think that since "there's lots of fish in the sea," there damn well oughta be a lot of Filet O' Fishes out there as well. No dice.

This entry was posted on Friday, April 15, 2005 at 3:13 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.