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exclusive: the burger kings of leon interview...



As the Kings of Leon stumble off the stage after a long hard night of rockin' and rollin' and what-not, Creepy Burger King Guy pops out of nowhere:

KOL drummer: "What the HELL!!"

Creepy Burger King Guy: (Hands each King of Leon a new Enormous Omelet Sandwich. And keeps smiling. Ominously.)

KOL lead singer/guitarist: "I think he wants us to eat it. (loudly) Do you want us to eat it?"

Creepy Burger King Guy: (Nods head. Still ominous)

KOL bassist: "All right man. But this is a waste of time. I've got a lot of chicks that need bangin.' And my hair needs brushin.'"

(They all eat, but, like, in a sexy rock n roll way.)

KOL drummer: "Okay. There ya go, dude. We ate your sandwich. Can we go now?"

Creepy Burger King Guy: (Shakes head. With ominous happiness.)

KOL bassist: "Bullcrap, dude. I'm out." (starts to walk away)

(OUT OF NOWHERE, Hootie shows up.)

Hootie: "Hello guys. Or should I say brothers?"

KOL lead singer/guitarist: "Hootie! What is going down, man?"

Hootie: "I'm sorry guys. You've just signed away your musical souls over to the Creepy Burger King Guy by eating his new Enormous Omelet Sandwich. You must go with me to Creepy Burger King Land with Brooke Burke and that Stuff girl with the phat ass."

All of KOL: "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!"

(IN ONE SWOOP, a huge Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch Sandwich crashes through the ceiling, picks up the KOL, Hootie and Scary BK Guy and flies away. They are never seen outside of bad commercials again.)

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 14, 2005 at 9:29 AM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.

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Best peice of non-fiction I've read this year. An absolutely riveting re-telling of a story we all know too well.
Thank you for that.  



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