I had a weird dream about the recently-deceased Pope last night. I blame all the news coverage, of course.

But in my dream, I was sitting at my elementary school lunch table with the Pope and his assistant (aka mainly a guy in whose ear the Pope whispered to make proclamations and stuff). I guess they were my lunch buddies. I don't know.

I just remember sitting there and watching the Pope's assistant make his boss a PB&J sandwich. But not just any PB&J. No. A PB&J made with that crap-ass Goober Grape swirl stuff.

"Would you like a Goober Grape sandwich," the assistant asked me as he intently spread that crap all over the Pope's multigrain bread.

"No thanks. I have my Spaghetti O's," I said politely.

The Pope cringed and bent over to whisper in his assistant's ear. The assistant then looked at me and said, "But those who follow Jesus eat Goober Grape."

I sighed. I looked at the Pope, looked at the Goober Grape and then back at the Pope again.

"Then I guess I quit Jesus."

I got up from the table and left.

This entry was posted on Friday, April 08, 2005 at 9:47 AM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.