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when laundry day falls on premiere day...

Conversation Between Michael Pitt and His "Friend" Two Hours Before His Picture Was Taken At The Big Premiere For Last Days

Friend: Dude. Your premiere's today!

Michael: Ahhhh snap. The hamper's full. What am I to do?

Friend: Just go buy a shirt, man. Hollywood Boulevard has 5 for 10 bucks.

Michael: Noooo man. That is so not punk rock.

Friend: You should go topless. That would be cool.

Michael: It gets kind of chilly at night though.

Friend: Whatever man. Do what you need to do.

Michael: How about this?

Friend: We just used that to dust yesterday. It's a rag.

Michael: This isn't a rag. It's a fashion statement.

Friend: You should tear a little hole on one sleeve!!

Michael: And roll up the other!! I was just thinking that!!

Friend: You're going to be a huge hit!!

Michael: I know! I know! Can I borrow some of your facial moisturizer?

Friend: Truthfully, you look fantastic. Best I've ever seen you.

Michael: This is exciting. I can't wait. I'm on my way. Toodles.

Let this be a lesson to young stars everywhere. Friends don't let friends wear dust rags to their premieres. Never ever never ever. Just no.
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Posted by Anonymous stochasticgirl on 4:56 PM

I think I can SMELL him through my computer. Blegh!  

Posted by Blogger Lons on 8:33 PM

I doubt he was anywhere near this cognizant 2 hours before the premiere. The conversation was more likely filled with muffled, half-completed sentences interrupted by sporadic bouts of the dry heaves.  

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