Dear John,

What? What did you say, JM? You want me to write your song for you? How about not, you know? Sorry. I'm all booked up writing crap for Kanye West. He's a huge drama queen. And don't forget U2. The Edge is all up in my sink wanting melodies for their next top-10 hit. I'm not even taking Eminem's calls until he stops with that cussing shit. Truthfully, I don't like the direction your music is going in. You're somewhere off in somebody's wonderland while I'm here in the real world busting my chops writing genius music and melodies and sending them via email to huge MTV music superstars. Stop yourself, re-erect yourself and get back to me.

-Me

p.s. This letter can be accompanied by the children's song "Bingo." As in "B-I-N-G-O was his name-O!" Not because it really matches up beat-wise. I just thought it would be funny to imagine you listening to it extremely perplexed.

Link: John Mayer Calls On Fans To Finish Song (Newsday)

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 03, 2005 at 12:24 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.