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Internal monologue of Sandman, the new Spiderman 3 villain, written by someone not knowledgable about Sandman or what he does...


"Oh crap. I smell sand. Sand is near. You know what THAT means! Yeah. I'm going to throw it. Because that's my evil supervillain power. Sand or something sand...ish. Like throwing sand or flipping sandboxes over. Or, you know, stuffing it down your swimshorts after you've been in the ocean. Sometimes, I'll even granulate the sand even further with the help of my extremely more built right arm muscles and pour some in the outer edges of your ear while you're not looking. Oh yes. In your auricle. Then you'll get home and put your finger in your ear and say, "Dude, how did I get sand here? Curse you, Sandman!" But, seriously, I smell sand and it's somewhere in the city. If I don't find it soon, I don't know how I'll react. I might build a gigantic sand castle for some babies and then knock it down in front of them. Make them cry. Whatever it takes to do something evil that also involves sand. That's how I roll."
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Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 6:46 PM

"...extremely more built right arm muscles ..." Nice call! It looks like a bad photoshop job, or maybe he plays LOTS of tennis or something else related to selve abuse. Keep up the great work!  



Posted by Blogger The Bourbon Samurai on 7:29 PM

Sand is heavy, man.  



Posted by Blogger mance01 on 8:55 PM

"That's how I roll."

I frikkin' love this blog.  



Posted by Blogger Ben on 12:18 AM

This sounds like a job for Henry the Adequate...

but seriously, I like how you do that clever thing you do with those funny words... what's it called... writing, or something.

I'm trying to ge a job writing comment spam, cause those guys do real good. It must be real hard trying to think of clever stuff to say on all those millions of weblogs. It's an awful lot of typing too.

Maybe I'll just stick to my job as best ice cube boy.  



Posted by Blogger Keith on 7:53 AM

Please tell me that's not Thomas Haden Church playing Sandman. He's not a villain.

"Lookit me! I'm Sandman! My delivery will be so predictable and droll that I will make you fall asleep!"

Oh yeah -- the alternate version of Sandman? I went there.  



Posted by Blogger justin on 9:24 AM

Now he will sand you to death.

Congrats.  



Posted by Blogger Todd Jones on 9:23 PM

Oh sweet mercy, fucking Lowell is the Sandman? And I was looking forward to Spiderman 3...  



Posted by Blogger Spencer Carnage on 2:53 PM

Its funny, but deep inside I know you're laughing at comic book fans like myself.  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 7:53 PM

Once I played 9Dragons, I did not know how to get strong, someone told me that you must have 9Dragons gold. That he gave me some 9 Dragons gold, and then he said that I could buy 9 Dragons gold, but I did not have so much money, and then I played it in all my spare time. From then on, I have got a lot of cheap 9Dragons gold, if I did not continue to play it, I can sell 9Dragons money to anyone who want.  



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