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melting those prison bars with love (aka prison chick idol)...

It took me about an hour.

But I finally did it.

My friend, Cory, whose Jdate account has yielded nothing but a "school of wildebeest" thus far, is looking for Love. Notice the capital.

Be of note that Cory is a)sensitive and b) shy. He's the guy that sometimes has to be prodded to talk to the ladies. Considering this, extreme situations call for extreme-er measures.

That's where Women Behind Bars comes in. These ladies are desperate for some beefy man love and Cory's eventual letters to them are going to be like gumdrops from heaven.

Actually, Cory looks kinda like this dude. But with curly hair.

After close consideration, I've narrowed the long list down to three contestants:
1. Jami - You have to know that this girl is getting constantly shower-molested.

2. Stephanie - A Jewish princess?? Hiyo. She also has "strong morals."

3. Cynthia - Ummmmm...yep.

That's it. Let the sexiest jailbird win.
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Posted by Blogger matt on 6:52 PM

poor sharon.
i wonder if she gets referred to as a "dude" a lot.  

Posted by Blogger ERL on 6:09 AM

i sort of wonder about a prison system that allows cynthia to post a picture like that up.  

Posted by Anonymous Amanda on 1:46 PM

Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure that Cynthia is actually a man.  

Posted by Blogger lindsey on 1:42 AM

no way amanda, her boobs are obviously totally real.
she just SCREAMS 100% WOMAN! to me  

Posted by Blogger Cory on 2:49 PM

I look NOTHING like that guy in the picture.

I will bring you down, Justin. I will bring you down to Chinatown.

Once we get to Chinatown, I'll probably murder you, and if some Chinese guy looks at me, I'll say, "Forget it, Chinese guy, it's Chinatown," and walk away and hope someone plays music. Then I'll break into a run, considering I just killed someone and I'm probably wanted for murder.  

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