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you're an asshole if you steal this picture from my blog that i totally took several seconds to download onto my desktop all by myself...



WTF people!! Stop stealing all of these pictures that I have worked so hard to either steal from other sites or scan from magazines!!! It really pisses me off. Don't you see all the Blogads in that sidebar over there. And above and below. This blog isn't fun. It's a business. A cut-throat business of stealing pictures from other sources and labeling them with my blog name. I'm so far behind I can't even do it all myself. I hired a few Guatemalan girls a few weeks ago to get up at 7 am every morning and do it for me. And don't forget how I have to write down any and all cool gossip I see in Star or InStyle while I'm waiting in the grocery line. That takes time. More time, actually, then it takes for you to Right Click Save As and totally filch all my cool and unique celeb photos. Stop being such an asshole! Why would you even attempt to take a photo like that and pretend it's yours??? That doesn't happen in the real world. Or even on The Real World. I know it doesn't happen in supermarkets. You can't just steal fruit and label it as yours:

Me: Dude, you totally took my pear out of my grocery cart.

You: What? No I didn't. Here. My name is on it. See?

Me: But I actually saw you take it. And then you wrote your name on it with a Sharpie.

You: Sorry, dude. This label is like calling "dibs." Or "golden." Everyone knows that. Even people who don't eat pears.

Me: That's beat up, man.

You: (Yelling) Everyone!! Look!! Look at this pear that I have found!! Yep. Me. I'm the one.

Everyone at supermarket:
(WOW!!)
(That guy found that pear!!)
(It's definitely his!! He's labeled it!!)
(Congrats on finding that pear!!!)

See. That totally does not happen. So stop doing it. Or I'll be forced to call the blogging police on you. I'm not even kidding. They're really scary and they don't take no backtalk (double negative fully intended, for emphasis).

FYI, I didn't steal the photo above from GQ via Goldenfiddle. No matter what they say. And if they did say that, they're ginormous liars. And they like wearing short-sleeved dress shirts to formal events. For real.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 31, 2005 at 3:40 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.

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Posted by Blogger kristine on 3:59 PM

"that's beat up, man"

i really like that. is it hip these days? where have i been? i'm stealing THAT and putting my name on it, bitch. (yeah, dave chappel stole that from ME and wrote his name on it after i'd stolen it from Rick James but couldn't find a sharpie fast enough)  



Posted by Blogger Capri on 4:15 PM

Everything on my blog is also stolen. lol I'm trying to make mine into a business as well but no one will sponsor me yet. But how do you put your name on pictures? That's cool!  



Posted by Blogger Justin on 9:11 PM

To clarify any confusion, this was definitely SATIRE.

I must be slipping in getting that across.  



Posted by Blogger Unknown on 7:46 AM

I can't apologize enough. I can only promise it will never happen again.  



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