I watched the Bruce Willis movie Hostage yesterday.

If you haven't seen it, rent it. Put in at the top of your Netflix queue. Or get in your time machine and go back to watch it in the theater. Whatever. But you must see it. Not because it's a good movie. No. It actually falls into the terrible to slightly average range.

The reason why everyone must see the movie is because it contains the most out-of-place character performance since Bobcat Goldthwait in Police Academy 3: Back in Training. Once you watch it, you'll automatically know who and what I'm talking about. It's the teenage character of Mars played by actor Ben Foster of Whatever It Takes fame. Everytime he was on the screen, pulsating with intensity, I laughed out loud and started studying his mannerisms because, yes, I plan on being him for Halloween 2005. Just so I can say something like this if I were to walk up to a house expecting a mini-Crunch bar or two:

Unknowing Old Lady: "Aren't you a little too old to be out trick-or-treating?"

Me: (After staring at her for 10 straight minutes, using intense method acting skills of imagining this old lady crashing a giant helicopter into my one and only 16th birthday pool party) "Do...you...have any...candy corn?"

I'm serious. Someone watch it so you can understand just how insanely awesome this idea is. This is going to be at least 500% better than last year's Redneck Mullet Man Who May Or May Not Have Pumped Your Gas Yesterday costume.

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 23, 2005 at 11:24 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.