dude, your girlfriend's busted...
Today's Imaginary Cellphone Conversation With Jake G. After I See Him And K Dunst Not-So-Slyly Hanging Together
Me: Dude...your girlfriend's busted.
Jake: Huh? I don't know what you're talking about, man.
Me: Don't lie to me, dude.
Jake: We broke up. You know that.
Me: If you're going to continue seeing her, I suggest you do it on the UDL.
Me: That's the Ultra Down Low, dude.
Jake: I plead the fifth.
Me: You could drink an entire fifth and she'd still be busted.
Jake: That's rude, man.
Me: I can't even put a pic on the blog. I have to link to it. Ugh.
Jake: I'm hanging up now.
Me: I'm posting this conversation. As a warning.