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dude, your girlfriend's busted...



Today's Imaginary Cellphone Conversation With Jake G. After I See Him And K Dunst Not-So-Slyly Hanging Together

Jake: Hello?

Me: Dude...your girlfriend's busted.

Jake: Huh? I don't know what you're talking about, man.

Me: Don't lie to me, dude.

Jake: We broke up. You know that.

Me: If you're going to continue seeing her, I suggest you do it on the UDL.

Jake: UDL?

Me: That's the Ultra Down Low, dude.

Jake: I plead the fifth.

Me: You could drink an entire fifth and she'd still be busted.

Jake: That's rude, man.

Me: I can't even put a pic on the blog. I have to link to it. Ugh.

Jake: I'm hanging up now.

Me: I'm posting this conversation. As a warning.

Jake: Whatever.

(END)
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