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how am i supposed to care about nick and jessica when i still know nothing about the classmates.com couple??



I see them EVERYWHERE!! But beside the facts that THEY GOT MARRIED and have a gaggle of kids, the juicy details on their relationship are nowhere to found. Does he love her? Does she love him? Is she a wild child or is she really as intellectual as her spectacles suggest? Is she styling her hair now to make her look less dudelike? He's an idiot, isn't he? Or is he a smart jock? Did he accept a challenge to turn her into prom queen? Did he win? Is that how their love bloomed? Does he still have that V-cut shirt? Why does he part his hair so far over? Do their kids know how famous their folks are? Are they kinda pissed that the ad describes their beautiful union in such an incredulous manner? With a question mark AND an exclamation point?! Are they getting a cut of some serious Classmates.com dough, because they're undoubtedly the official faces of the brand? Have they leveraged that fame into any kind of book, TV or movie deals? You know what? How bout their names? I just want to know their names!!!!*

*Until then, their fake names will be Piper and Axl.

PIPER/AXL UPDATE: Someone just sent me this. Now with 2 exclamation points and 2 question marks!!?? How far can they go?!?!?!?!


PIPER/AXL UPDATE 2: Ohhhh, you can't fool me Sam From The Classmates Member Care Team!! Piper and Axl are real!! Real I tell you!! In real life and in people's hearts! You can't "act" or "employee" true love like that! What? Are their 7 kids all acting as well? The search continues...

PIPER/AXL UPDATE 3: Man, the internet is like magic. I love it. Allegedly, there could be a 20-year age gap between these lovebirds!! Just think, if we can somehow find Piper and Axl and have them somehow meet, it could be just like the end of Sleepless in Seattle. It would just click. Or something. Anyway, here's the latest possible 411 (according to comments):

PIPER = Her real name may be Susan; maybe married to Edward and graduated in 1979
AXL = Could have gone to Wall High School in NJ and graduated in 2001 OR could have gone to Georgetown District High School in Georgetown, Ontario, Canada and graduated around 1998 or 1999

(insert Journey's "Don't Stop Believin" here)

PIPER/AXL UPDATE 4:

SLUT!!!! SOMEONE OWES EVERYONE AN EXPLANATION!!!

NOOOOOOO!!!! HE LOVED YOU, PIPER!!! AND GAVE YOU 7 KIDS!!!

AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY HIM????

WTFFFFFFFFF!!!

(I hope the number of F's properly portrays my disgust at this unsettling discovery. I'm going to take a couple of Advils and just lie down and watch Oprah. GOD NO!! LOOK WHAT THIS HAS DONE TO ME!!)

PIPER/AXL UPDATE 5:
Well well...look who just went and TRADED UP BIG TIME!!!
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
HIGH FIVE, AXL!!! You've turned a complete 180 and I feel that it's been for the better. Ta-dow, my man. Miss Goldiluscious should help you to forget Misswhathername in no time. As for the kids...well, they're forever. A permanent semi-ugly forever mark on your record. Good luck and godspeed, dude.

PIPER/AXL UPDATE 6:
Well...just look at this.
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Piper: America's Next Top Model. I love how I'm now the point person for all things Piper and Axl. I get Gawker Stalker updates on their whereabouts at least once a week. I want to MEET THEM! I will not stop until I do. Their story needs to be told. It deserves a major motion picture treatment. Don't say you won't go to see "When Piper Met Axl." Pure solid gold.

PIPER/AXL: THE FINAL UPDATE (10/26/06)
After 385 days, 47 comments and roughly 18 emails, we've cracked the case. WE'VE TRACKED DOWN THE 2 MEMBERS OF THE GREATEST INTERNET LOVE STORY OF ALL TIME, PIPER & AXL!!!!!!

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

WOW. With the help of enterprising journalists, dreams do come true. I'd like to say hello to the real life "Piper" and "Axl." And I'm sorry, "Piper," that I didn't follow your bread crumbs (she left anonymous comments below) quickly enough. Read all about the not-married, un-seven-kidless couple HERE!!
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Posted by Blogger Teri on 2:41 PM

i was mindlessly surfing blogs because, well, because i'm being mindless ... and bored ... but this posting is hilarious ... you win the best blog of the day prize ... congratulations! ;)  



Posted by Blogger Reagan on 5:23 PM

made me laugh. i give it 9/10.
reagan  



Posted by Blogger Dan on 6:39 PM

That's just genius.  



Posted by Blogger Nanette on 3:33 PM

Best....blog....post....EVER! :)  



Posted by Blogger Hilary on 9:45 AM

Justin that was hysterical. Loved it!  



Posted by Blogger Thigh Master on 7:12 PM

dude, man, that was truly phat.  



Posted by Blogger Lindsay Robertson on 12:31 PM

What I've always wondered about this couple is this: she is clearly from the 70's and he's clearly from the 90's. They're the Demi and Ashton of clip art couples.  



Posted by Blogger Justin on 12:38 PM

She could be going retro with that cut. You just never know.  



Posted by Blogger Justin on 11:44 AM

SUSAN???

That's it???

I want stories, ld!!!  



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HALARIOUS.  



Posted by Blogger Justin on 11:47 AM

This case will be broke.

Oh yes.

It will be.  



Posted by Blogger Kelditty on 8:07 PM

That is the funniest thing you have ever written...........but it also might be the only funny thing you have ever written.
haha
i kill myself.  



Posted by Blogger Ryan on 8:55 AM

I wonder if this would help anything...

http://static.namesdatabase.com/schools/ON/Georgetown/GeorgetownDistrictHighSchool.html  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 3:59 PM

I like to talk about stool.  



Posted by Blogger lily on 3:20 PM

Her name is not Susan. She graduated from high school in Pennsylvania in 1978. She is not married to him (except in the tepid imagination of the agency hack who created this ad). This is the funniest blog post ever.  



Posted by Blogger Katja R. on 10:48 AM

I went to school with him and his name was John Westbrook III and she was that skinny Jehovah's Witness kid who kept trying to convert me, just when I was going through my Maoist phase.
Katja | Homepage | 01.27.06 - 7:24 pm | #

Gravatar P.S. John Westbrook III's dad owned everthing and was nearly invisible. John westbrook III was actually a rather nice young man, he took Home Economics to meet girls and the Jehovah's Witness girl Mary Shelton left her religion when God did not answer her prayer that he fall in love with her, convert from Episcopalian to Jehovah's Witness and marry her. Instead, he went away to the Naval Acadamy and died in 'Nam. She's the crazy old cat lady down the block now. Last count 50 cats, then the county took her away.

Xaxa! Katja,

She's simply too nedly to be a Piper! Piper is a PREPPIE name! I'm telling you she is the Jehovah's Witness kid from my speech class, nice to see the acne cleared up, she was the ONLY JW kid I knew with real acne, getting over the acne probably was her one reward for giveing up her religion!

Just thought you'd like to see what the buzz is elsewhere...  



Posted by Blogger dancing at gunpoint on 4:26 PM

awesome!  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 11:20 AM

I am convinced that the guy's name is Steven and he went to high school in Colt's Neck, NJ - graduated 1983 or 1982. Look at the suit, for god's sake!  



Posted by Blogger Kelly on 12:29 PM

This is the best post I've read all day! LMAO  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 7:40 PM

unbelievable, you are genius  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 8:55 PM

I saw the two picture of the girl who said she looked like that Jen girl on http://www.i-am-bored.com/forums.asp?page_num=1&action=read&q_id=18489&ct=10. I think the black and white picture looks almost exactly like Jackie from that 70's show. Anybody else agree?  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 9:52 PM

heheh axl...that was his nick name actully we graduated together heh.. been awhile  



Posted by Blogger Angie Barr on 11:25 PM

I went to school with a guy that looks exactly like him!!! The guy that went to my school was Wes Bryant...same preppy Ferris-type sweater vest over tee and Flock o' Seagulls 'do. Yup....he's a keeper!  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 1:25 PM

Shhh...listen. His name is Kevin L and he went to Daniel Hand High School in Madison, CT, class of 1999.  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 1:42 PM

i really promise i do not mean this udely, but... to angie barr... have you ever seen any image even remotely representing flock of seagulls? i think we're reaching a little far here, don't you?  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 8:02 PM

LmaO!
I love it!
Please continue your search!
I wanna know who keeps the kids and the house and ofcourse there must be a dog. I hope axl kept the dog. I bet thats how he got goldilocks. oh well =)  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 11:39 PM

When I seen this I too wanted to know what was up with these people and so I emailed them this...



I was just wondering who these people are *Picture* and why later this *picture* and this *Picture*
did they divorce are they both having secret affairs or are they swinger?

Thank you!


This was the response

Hi Christy,

Thank you for contacting Classmates. I'm more than happy to assist you.

All images used in Classmates.com ads are either stock images that we paid to license, or images of Classmates employees and their families that we have explicit permission to use.

I hope this information was helpful. If I can be of further assistance, please let me know.

Sincerely,

Sandra
Classmates Member Care Department
www.Classmates.com



Personaly I think they are hiding something.  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 7:22 PM

These 2 went to Muskingum College (Ohio) in the late 70's and they were not a couple. Her name is Marsha and she didn't look like this by the time she got there. That's her senior HS pix (Maple Hts, Cleveland). I know because we lived in the same house for a couple years. Hi, Marsha!  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 7:25 PM

OK...now that I've outed Marsha, will someone out there in the Muskingum College database please help me remember Axl's real name??Thx!!  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 8:46 AM

You should so write a tutorial or something on blogging dude. I was just looking at crap and somehow came across your blog. This was hilarious.  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 3:41 PM

Interesting that the response you received from Classmates was signed by "Sandra." The photo of the girl with the Dorothy Hamill haircut and the glasses looks exactly like the senior photo of one Sandra Sivec that graduation from Fitzgerald High School in Warren, Michigan, in 1977.  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 12:21 AM

Ok I know everyone thinks they know the classmates.com ad guy. Lies. I swear to you on my...um, Hairdresser, that that is my HS boyfriend! I have been seeing that ad and decided to google to see if it said his name anywhere at all. I swear its him! I will scan his senior photo from my album! its driving me crazy. someone validate me, damnit, please!  



Posted by Blogger Leo on 3:31 AM

They don't exist.  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 11:58 AM

the guys name could be jim rice he looks like a guy my older brother went to high school with. golden city,mo  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 8:29 PM

This is genius. The link to the news story seems to have gone cold though. Here's one that seems to work: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/businesstechnology/2003325519_adcouple27.html  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 4:03 PM

Awesome blog! I'd love to year your insightful tales about these other real and sureal people pictured in Classmates.com ads. Check out the latest story http://blog.seattlepi.nwsource.com/netnative/archives/112545.asp  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 4:04 PM

http://blog.seattlepi.nwsource.com/netnative/
archives/112545.asp  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 12:11 AM

GEEEEEN-ee-ous.

[holding up scorecard with 10 on it]  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 9:29 AM

Wow...glad I am not the only one wondering who they were.  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 3:54 PM

What's this with Daniel Hand High School in Madison, CT? Piper looks just like Cathy Moran, class of '79 -- but she's not -- or else it's a different picture!  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 4:08 PM

I THINK her name is Stacy Scott. I'm pretty sure that it's from the Saint Lawrence Academy (Santa Clara, CA) yearbook from 1988. To the best of knowledge this is her sophomore picture. IF this is the same chick, she went on to become a bleach-blonde by her senior year, with some kind of a perm.  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 11:26 AM

ok, but what about the 3 hot chicks on classmates? the blond, the curly headed brunette w/ the massive flop over hair do, and the brunette w/ all of her hair WAY back off of her face? who are they?  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 11:16 AM

lol. this is too funny.
confession: everytime i see the pcture of "piper" i think she's this girl that i used to go to school with named mimi.
i was so convinced that i started asking my friends and they jsut laughed it off.
so i'm bored at work today and decide to google it and bam - here i've found others just as curious of the identity of these people as i am.
tooo funny!  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 9:54 AM

Look at these winter skin care products for your face!  



Posted by Blogger Ashleigh on 2:56 PM

That guy is actually my friend's father...definitely does not look like the future projected picture.  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 11:24 AM

How funny is this! I thank you, I was checking out a website and saw that classmates ad, and I am always annoyed by it and also curious at the same time...finally, I wanted to know who were the people behind the faces on this ad, so I googled "who are the faces on classmates.com"--simple as that, and up popped your site, LOL, made me laugh I cried...I needed it too...having a bad day, THANKS for doing all the hard work and research and making it one of the funniest things I have read in a long time!  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 1:42 AM

Top blog. Those photos at the top are hilarious  



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