mischa and brandon break up for the 23rd time...
Brandon: No...come closer.
Mischa: I said what!
Brandon: (whispers) I just got my shorts wet.
Mischa: Serves you right. Wear trunks next time schmoopie.
Brandon: They're totally wet. They're ruined.
Mischa: You're a billionaire. You can just buy another pair.
Brandon: BUT I DON'T WANNA ANOTHER PAIR! I WANT THESE!
Mischa: Would you quiet down and just take that dress shirt off?
Brandon: Why? You know that I'm fat.
Mischa: You're causing people to stare.
Brandon: I'm fat AND my shorts are wet. I'm such a loser. I'm a mess.
Mischa: You ARE NOT. You're just big-boned.
Brandon: Oh yeah. I kinda am, aren't I?
Mischa: Yes you are. (pause) Now take your shirt off.
Brandon: No. It might get sand on it.
Mischa: YOU DON'T COMPROMISE ON ANY OF MY WANTS OR DESIRES!!
Brandon: Okaaay. What do you want me to do? I'll do it!
Mischa: Swim out there an touch that buoy? For me?
Brandon: ARE YOU INSANE? My shorts will get wet!
Mischa: I want to break up.
Brandon: Me too.