learning the hard truth from mariah's hooker siblings...
Is it wrong that my imagined picture of Mariah's sister still looks a lot like Mariah??
Things Mariah's Sister's Arrest Has Taught Me About Hooking
1. Hookers: Stay Away From Suffolk County and Their Crimefighting Anti-Whore Unit
The police have it in for me in Suffolk County. What the hell? If a HIV-positive hooker can't get any work in Suffolk County, then by God, where the hell can she??? Like everything, I'll blame this on our government first, Saddam second and the ozone layer third. Eff the ozone, man. Hookers gotsta work.
2. Hookers: Stay Away From Houseboats; Not as Cool As Once Thought
I got a call to meet a guy on a boat that was docked in a marina. Okay. This is ridiculous. I'm going to be neurotic about meeting anyone on any kind of boat from now on.
"Dude, we're going to the lake. We're meeting some chicks."
"So, meet me at the dock."
"What do you mean why? Just do it."
"Can't, man. Too risky."
Is this what policemen do all day? Wait on houseboats for hookers to drop by? Isn't that hooker entrapment? How do they know she wasn't in the market for a hooker houseboat of her own? I haven't ever seen a hooker get busted doing her thing while on a lake or in a harbor on COPS? I'm confused about the legalities of this. There should be a Hooker Amendment. Or at least a Hooker Bill Of Rights.
3. Hookers: Cops Think Hookers Don't Use Bathrooms
I went onto the boat and told them I needed to use the bathroom.The man said, 'Don't use that room,' and he tried to stop me from opening the door but when I did I saw a policeman with radio equipment, and that's when they busted me for prostitution. From my limited to no contact with hookers (I saw one on a street once), their number one interest is bathrooms. Going into them, coming out of them, remodeling them, painting remarkable portraits of them, etc. I'm surprised the proper hooker authorities involved in this houseboat stakeout didn't know this. Maybe they should ring me up??
See also: my picture actually close to spot on??