This is more of a warning post than anything else.

LA-ites: if you're at Rock 'N Roll Ralphs on Sunset Blvd. and you're under the impression that you can push your cart out of the parking lot, you're wrong. You can't. Even if you're parked on the side road because the front parking lot is often packed due to its mini smallness, you can't take your Ralph's cart there. Oh no no no silly grocery shopper.

Do you know why? Because all of their carts and their wheels are rigged to fully shut down if they leave the set Ralph's "parking area." Not just one wheel or two. No, that would be workable. All four wheels lock up as the cart starts to fully break down and embarrass the cart pushee in front of everyone. All regular people, all aspiring actors and actresses (mainstream and porn) and all bums and hookers within the vicinity of the parking lot will know that you're "trying to steal the shopping cart" or, you know, "take it to your house." The actual breaking down of the cart makes a loud noise. But the machine-gun-like tirade of expletives that may slip from your mouth will seal the embarrassment deal. And then the dude that makes $7 an hour to actually round up the shopping carts will laugh at you. And then you will cry all over your chips and soda beverages. Or at least sulk expressively.

In conclusion, grocery carts suck ass. And so does this guy, who looks kinda like the grocery cart rounder-upper. Not cool at all. He was being extremely "un-dude."

This entry was posted on Monday, July 25, 2005 at 4:57 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.