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"your blog seems to have an attitude problem..."


"Hello Mrs. Smith. Thank you for meeting with me today."

"My pleasure. Thank you."

"I'm sure you're wondering why I scheduled a parent-teacher meeting in such an impromptu manner, so I'll just get down to it..."


"It's about your blog's attitude."

"My blog?"

"Yes, m'am. Your blog seems to have an attitude problem. I believe that your blog's behavior in the past few days has become detrimental to the class as a whole."

"I'm sorry. But are you sure we're talking about the same blog? My blog?"

"Yes Mrs. Smith. I'm sure it's not what you expected to hear. No parents want to come into a meeting with a teacher, or anyone for that matter, and hear that their blog is underperforming."

"Of course."

"Well...today your blog started bragging about his site statistics during lunch."

"His father and I have warned him about that. We even took away posting time for an entire week. We thought that had fixed the problem."

"Truth be told: that was minor. But then he pulled out his blogroll at playtime."

(SHOCKED) "NOT MY BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"M'am. Please. This is not that serious."

"I will assure you. My little blog doesn't do such things!!!"

"Mrs. Smith, I've been teaching blogs for 20 years. These blogs are still developing. It's perfectly normal for them to compare themselves to other blogs at a young age. They want to make sure they're normal. They want to be accepted. But pulling out blogrolls in plain view of other blogs and comparing sizes is unacceptable in a public schooling atmosphere. Maybe you should consider a more specialized private school?"

"Are you telling me how to tag my blog???"

"No I'm not. I'm just saying that he might have special needs."

"My blog should have the same chance to survive in the blogosphere as anyone else's. He is special. But special in a good way. Not a movie-of-the-week-blogging-disabled way. Maybe you should take a look in the mirror at your own blogroll. Perhaps it's not as long as you thought?"

"There's no need to get personal, Mrs. Smith. And we all know that size doesn't really matter. But you should know: private schools today regularly send their blogs to the nation's top blogiversities."

"We will do no such thing. I went to a public school, his father went to a public school and our blog will go to a public school. How is he supposed to form long-lasting blog friendships if he goes to a school with only 100 or so blogs? He'll never be linked!!"

"I understand. Linking is important to the youth of today."

"Important?? After wearing a template that doesn't look like it was bought at Wal-Mart, it's the most important thing. Hell, my parents didn't want me to link before marriage. Guess what? I did. A lot."

"Again, maybe a little too much information. But I appreciate your honesty."

"I'm not delusional. In a few years, my little blog will have no time for me. He'll begin to experiment. Podcasting, videoblogging. Stuff we would never have thought of doing when we were young. He'll be linking all around town. And who am I to judge? Better do it now and get it all out of his system."

"Hmmm...well, time's up. This meeting has been very informative. I believe that you have your blog's best interests at heart. (gets up to shake hands) Thanks for coming."

"No. Thank you. (starts to walk out of room but turns around, thinking) Can I ask you one more thing?"

"Of course."

"Can I add you to my blogroll?"

"Well...okay. I guess we have some things in common."


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Posted by Blogger heather on 2:40 PM


i think i just fell in love with you.  

Posted by Anonymous Lynn on 10:13 PM

You just exposed what is wrong with 90% of blogs. Recycling the news over and over, doesn't matter what kind. Yet, I keep reading in an effort to find the new and original. That's why I keep comin' back here dude.  

Posted by Blogger lawkiid on 12:54 PM

I think you've officially lost it dude...
funny as f... but man... that's wacked!
Bold prediction for coming weeks...
Jessica Simpson and an up and coming rap star hook up... Nick Lachey fools around with some used up hooker in vegas... just a prediction.  

Posted by Anonymous nic on 7:02 AM

Your blog needs some serious discipline.  

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