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What happens in the urinals stays in the urinals...


Except for when it's as freaky as what just happened to me. I was in our office floor's restroom doing my business when some random dude I've never seen before sidles up to the urinal two down from me. About five seconds in, he lets out the most ginormous fart I've ever heard inside a public restroom. Very gross, kinda wet sounding, but with intensity. Truth be told, I hadn't heard something this grotesque coming out of stalls. And this was standing up at a urinal.

So what did I do? I tried my best not to laugh. But the fact that you don't normally hear dudes tearing ass cheeks while they're standing up at the urinal (unless you're at the trough at a football game) made me lose it. And as I did, I looked sideways (breaking the unspoken dude rule of eyes straight ahead) and, I guess, gave him the WTF glance. Scariest thing? He looked like T Bag from "Prison Break." And what did he do? He stopped, zipped up and pointed at me as he was walking away. "Merry Christmas," he said. And he didn't wash his hands on the way out.

I will be 70 telling this story to my grandkids some day. I just know it.

p.s. Another dog wearing a hat. Xmas, this time.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 08, 2005 at 11:49 AM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.

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Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 6:12 PM

i love you....  



Posted by Blogger Justin on 6:15 PM

I love you too.  



Posted by Blogger Rob on 10:16 PM

That made me chuckle.  



Posted by Blogger xanadian on 5:29 AM

ah! another brilliant idea to add to my repertoire. bahahahahahaaa!!  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 11:38 PM

I'm glad that I heard about this second hand and didn't experience it myself. Other than that...good story, dude.  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 12:23 PM

Quite frankly I'm surprised that you've not experienced the standing up at the urinal ripper before. I, unfortunately, work in an office where the savagery that goes on in the bathroom is so beyond, I've been forced (in extreme cases) to go home in the middle of the day just to drop my duker. I don't know what people eat around here, but it just seems like they all think that passing ass rattling gas and blowing burrito size mudslides are perfectly acceptable in an office environment.

You have seen the dark side of the office bathroom experience. You can never go back. Your innocence is lost forever.  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 11:24 PM

that was hilarious  



Posted by Blogger 0000 on 6:13 AM

Wow, I bet that was my old boss. He would acctually take documents from his desk that needed his attention and announce to the office he was going to do some "reading (read: take a shit)."

We wouldn't see him for 20 min.




Dumbass.  



Posted by Blogger Boxcar Fritz on 8:49 PM

I sharted while standing at a urinal on newq years eve. Seriously not cool.

Good story, though.  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 1:32 PM

What, so you cannot fart at the urinals now? Since when?  



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