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Help me cranekick the hell out of competing blogs...

Yes. It's the finals of the 2005 Urbs. Through the miraculous use of the internet (okay, I hit up the local nursing homes...they like "pinchable cheeks"...sue me!!), I am up for three MAJOR AWARDS!!!

1. World's Hottest Urban Blogger
2. World's Most Inane Urban Blog Post
3. World's Best Urban Blog

I've got some pretty stiff competition in every category, but I think I can pull out a W or two. Number one, yes, I could feasibly send Gridskipper a picture of myself for the Hottest Urban Blogger category. Anyone who's met me in person knows I'm not a friggin' troll or anything. Or, at least, not an ugly troll. BUT...wouldn't it be so so much awesome-er if I won with a pic of a blowup sex doll (my ex-cubiclemate Franschesca) representing me. Come on. Really. Number two, everyone hates The Gangs Of Souplantation post. Help me make it a legend of hatred. Please. Number three, if Gothamist wins for Best Urban Blog, the terrorists win. They actually sent me an email detailing this. So, I'm just saying. Vote for me. It's a vote for nonterrorism. And bunnies and puppies and rainbows that never end (which are things terrorists really really hate). They told me all of that too.


Also, vote for these fine blogs/blogesses:
Art.blogging.la = World's Best Urban Arts Blog
Girlspoke = World's Best Urban Sex Blog
Overeducated & Underemployed = Best Los Angeles Blog
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Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 2:08 PM

Rud-y! Rud-y! Rud-y!

I told everyone I know to vote.


Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 2:21 PM

Yes... lets vote for the world's best waster of time. No one wastes time like dude.man.phat. I mean think about it... hours upon hours of ramblings and who benefits???? Endless attempts at humor and who laughs???? Voting for the world's best blog is like voting for #1 person in the world with nothing to do. Get a life... Make news don't try to write something funny about it.  

Posted by Blogger justin on 2:41 PM

1. How ironic that you wasted enough time to write a comment (anonymously, naturally) of how you believe I'm a waste of time...hmmmm.

2. "Hours upon hours of ramblngs and who benefits?" Uh, me? It's my freakin' blog, dude. Which I do..wait for it...for fun (do you see ads?) when I'm not working full-time on my career. What are you out doing, Anonymous? Curing cancer?

3. My mom laughed at something I wrote a few weeks ago. Are you saying my mom doesn't count? Well, then. Screw you. But, anonymously, of course.  

Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 2:50 PM

Dude... you really benefit from your own blog? How? Re-reading your own jokes gives you that much of a kick? I mean I think I'm funny, but I don't write all my stuff down and read it over and over again. And then to say you have fun reading your lame stuff over and over again???

2. The difference between me and you is that I wrote a comment... you wrote the blog. My comment indicates a momentary lack of things to do. Your blog indicates a perpetual lack of things to do.

3. Your mom doesnt count.

4. Anonymous... only because it is the quickest way to post on your lame site.

Mark... oops... .now you know who I am... that adds all the validity in the world to my comments...

Go beg for votes for your lame site.  

Posted by Blogger justin on 3:01 PM

Well. You obviously have some kind of axe to grind, Mark. If you don't like my blog, stop reading it, man. Easy as that. Thanks.  

Posted by Blogger justin on 3:10 PM

Also...I do like your blog, Mark.

But drop me a line when it starts curing cancer.  

Posted by Blogger Lexie on 4:06 PM

godeffingdammit. i was coming over to leave hate-o-rade comments for you, but i see someone else already won douchebag of the year.

i think it's sad that you're the hottest person up there - and your picture is a freaking blow-up doll. i'm still trying to figure out how the fuck this happened, but maybe i'll be able to tell you after i finish finding a cure for cancer.

oh, and thanks for the GS shoutout. if we can't be known as the "world's hottest bloggers", "world's sluttiest bloggers" will do just as well.  

Posted by Blogger xanadian on 5:26 AM

Well, perhaps he just has some latent aggressions he needs to vent, and you were the most convenient target. Or he just wants the attention...but then he'd not post as "anonymous" (and who can be sure his real name is "Mark"). Or, he doesn't understand the concept of blogging and why people do it. Or, (D) all of the above.

Anyhoo, you really should put your OTHER picture up for the URBS (hottest blogger). All the girls (and, statistically, ~5% of the guys) will go crazy over it, coz you're currently in 3rd place in this category.  

Posted by Blogger lawkiid on 9:42 AM

Dear 'Mark' Anonymous,
I hope you get hit by a bus.
ps. how stupid are you? who benefits? everyone who reads and laughs does... including you if your heart hadn't shriveled up into a tiny little rabbit turd pellet of unfunniness and mega-seriousness when you became a crusader for truth in news and the ending of everything fun and lighthearted in the world.  

Posted by Blogger justin on 11:03 AM

I've got nothing but goodwill for the anonymous brotha. Mark's heart soon will grow three sizes. I just know it.  

Posted by Blogger Cory on 3:22 PM

The best part is when Mook told you to "make news."

Here's some news: Mook is an asshat.

Congratulations on your newsmaking prowess, Mook.  

Posted by Blogger xanadian on 6:05 AM

what, exactly, IS an "asshat"? Is it a hat made out of an ass? Or is it a hat you WEAR on your ass? And if so, does the donkey like hats?  

Posted by Blogger justin on 9:39 AM

Donkeys love hats.  

Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 7:50 AM

Dude... all of you guys suck. Blogs are meaningless cause anyone can have one. No story can be verified... people just write and write and write for no purpose except it makes them feel more important than they are. I'm guessing everyone who wrote negatively about me also is really into living vicariously through celebrities as well. Get your own lives. No one wants to read about you or hear what happened yesterday at work. You are wasting your time. And to think that there are awards for this crap... (my point originally)

... Mark  

Posted by Blogger justin on 10:01 AM

Mark, you've got issues, man. WE GET IT. Send me an email and we'll talk about it.  

Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 10:48 AM


Turns out you are pretty decent. I'd vote for you for the world's least sucky blog. Good luck to you, but quit this blogging nonsense. At some point in time you will... till then...  

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