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an open letter to netflix regarding why they suck complete ass...



Dear Mr. Netflix,

If you don't send me the season one discs of Entourage soon, I might just bludgeon your entire family with a garden rake. I don't own one, but I will go to the Home Depot and buy one exclusively for the purpose of ending our online-rental relationship (and Mrs. Netflix and Netflix Jr.'s lives) to prove a point. I'm so serious about this it hurts. I haven't had those DVD's at the top of my queue for a month and a half for my health. They are there and they've been there since the "Very Long Wait" days. I don't even care what order you send them in. Friggin' surprise me. I've already seen most of the episodes. I just don't want to buy the crap for $40. You suck for making me this angry. I friggin' defended you when Blockbuster started offering handjobs and sno cones for people to switch over. And this is how you treat me? Oh, btw, I made a mix CD with a bunch of hate songs (like a 12-year-old girl) and sent it back to you in the place of Kung Fu Hustle this week. Enjoy it. If you don't rectify the situation, there will be more. I've got the Internet and Amoeba Records at my disposal for finding some truly shitty emo music that will make you light yourself on fire with hate if you don't.

I'm so not kidding,

Me

p.s.
Stop recommending JLo movies. You know that I hate her. It's beyond funny now.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, August 11, 2005 at 4:33 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.

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Posted by Blogger Fun Joel on 6:59 PM

Dude! How could I possibly miss the handjobs-from-Blockbuster offer? Man! And btw, Gunnii sounds totally, uh... Phat, yeah!  



Posted by Blogger Justin on 9:25 AM

joel - bring it, uh, on

charlie - yep, that's the whole "throttling" issue. sounds like something out of top gun but it's not.  



Posted by Blogger 323 Gal on 9:39 AM

I thought you didn't like Entourage Season Uno?  



Posted by Blogger Justin on 10:07 AM

It's true. But I heard I missed some of the best ones. So I was going to give it a chance.  



Posted by Blogger Justin on 5:20 PM

Best comment ever.  



Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 6:31 AM

Wow, thanks for that, good stuff!  



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