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The Million Little Pieces controversy has me re-evaluating every single Oprah book recommendation...


Hey. After this mess, you never know.

Maya Angelou may have not been 100% on why exactly the birds, in fact, sing. Or she may have only thought she saw them sing, but it was a cruel joke by one of her college friends ("That Maya, man. She's always birdwatching. Waiting. Let's trip her out with some Disney animatronic shit!!"). Or she may have really seen them sing, but they weren't actually caged, at least not in the literal sense. But, again, you never know. Call me loco, but I'd just like to see a similar convo on "Larry King Live."

Larry: "So, you never really did see them...sing?"

Maya: "Larry, Larry! The literal truth of the book is still there. The only part that is in question is the title."

Larry: "But isn't that the theme of the book? The main point, if I may?"

Maya: "Larry, Larry. Come on. It's me. Maya."

Larry: "You've never even seen a bird, have you?"

Maya: "Again. No comment."

Larry: "Spell bird."

Maya: "No comment."

Larry: "I'm going to pretend I'm a bird and I'm going to sing. Then, for the viewers around the world watching, tell me why."

Maya: "Why don't we go to some callers."

Larry: "Tweet tweet. Tweet tweet."
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Posted by Blogger TheIdleReceptionist on 6:04 AM

Hah. That was pretty funny.  



Posted by Blogger whatwouldjanicedickinsondo on 7:15 AM

tee-hee.
you're hilarious, justin.
maya angelou does seem pretty shifty, doesn't she?  



Posted by Anonymous Kealeen on 9:25 AM

I'm having a love affair with this entry. I know I would get stoned in certain circles for saying this, but I've always found Maya Angelou to be totally overrated. I LOVE the David Alan Grier SNL where he had her shilling for Butterfinger, Fruit Loops, and Penzoil. http://snltranscripts.jt.org/96/96k.phtml  



Posted by Blogger hannah on 11:42 AM

I'm reading that book now. You haven't really lived until you've driven whilst influenced and ran into a cop on the sidewalk but didnt think you killed him because you thought you saw him move.

(Whomever is the Janice Dickinson afficiando, I commend you! She slays me...in a good way. Just finished reading her autobiography "No Lifeguard on Duty" and I couldn't put it down.)  



Posted by Blogger the belligerent intellectual on 12:51 PM

Posts like this make me jealous. "Spell bird." Fucking classic.  



Posted by Anonymous Deadpan on 2:14 PM

You know which book I question? The Bible. Loaves and fishes my ass.  



Posted by Anonymous Krissy on 9:28 PM

Hahahaha, I love deadpan for saying that. But even more so I love you for this post! :)  



Posted by Blogger Used Hack on 6:16 PM

You just know Maya Angelou is a fucking liar.  



Posted by Anonymous Neil on 11:36 AM

I agree with Deadpan about the Bible. How do we really know how "new" the New Testament really was?  



Posted by Blogger hannah on 10:44 AM

Wait. You're not dead again, are you?  



Posted by Blogger Lons on 9:00 PM

My question is, how has Dr. Phil managed to avoid becoming embroiled in this falsified-Oprah-book controversy. No one's hawked more made-up nonsense in book form on Oprah's show than that tubby doofus with the cop moustache.  



Posted by Blogger ERL on 9:49 AM

Yup definitely the funniest thing I've read all week.  



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